Surfers, to me, are like broccoli to sharks. If I ever become a professional surfer (which is incredibly likely, despite the fact I’ve never actually been surfing before) I’m going to tell people that I’m a professional broccoli. I wouldn’t refer to myself as a head of broccoli (or whatever it is you might actually refer to a piece of broccoli as) but I’d just be a broccoli. That’s right. I’m a professional broccoli. I’m not, but one day I probably will be… and you can tell people that you know a professional broccoli, and your friends will think you have a severe mental handicap, but you’ll know better.
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