I’ve noticed that, in an effort to waste insignificant moments of life, a lot of people seem to be filling out these questionnaire thingys and posting them as notes. Seeing as my life, in particular, is nothing more than a, seemingly, never-ending string of pointless moments, I’ve decided to one-up everyone and make a questionnaire for you, my 3 readers, to fill out.

If anyone actually fills this shit out that’s wicked… maybe I’ll get you a present or something? Probably not… but fill it out anyway.

1. What was your first impression of Zok?

2. If Zok were Samuel L. Jackson, who would be cooler Zok or Samuel L. Jackson?

3. You probably operate under the assumption that Zok has super-powers… because he’s so radical… which superhero do you think he is?

4. What is the most far-out thing Zok has ever done for you?

5. Do you find Zok so incredibly irresistible that you plan to kill him in his sleep and then have him stuffed and put on your couch as a memento?

6. On a scale of 3 to 9, how badly would you like to fornicate with Zok? (3 being ‘not so much but enough to still want to,’ and 9 being ‘fornication with Zok is my life’s purpose and I’d push an old lady, with a walker, down the flight of steps that Rocky ran up in Rocky for the opportunity’)

7. Would you be willing to sell your kidney, or possibly liver, on the black market, so as to give the proceeds to Zok?

8. If life really is shades of grey, do you find your relationship with Zok to sit more in the #333333 end of the spectrum or the #CCCCCC end of the spectrum… and why?

9. On a scale of 1 to 100 how badly would you like to have Zok take you on a whimsical adventure one night this week… or possibly next week? (1 being ‘not that badly’ and 100 being ‘I’ve already crossbred a horse with a rhinoceros in an attempt to create a unicorn that we could ride into the sunset on’)

10. If you answered between 1 and 100, what day are you free?

11. If this inquiry were an episode of Family Feud, which family would win… the Capulet’s or the Montague’s?

12. What was your third impression of Zok?

13. If Zok were on a train, heading westbound from New York to California, at 103kph, and you were on a train, heading east, from Denver to Boston, at 87kph, would you stop at Duty Free on your way into Canada to grab a bottle of vodka?

14. Has this survey, in any way, helped you lay to rest some unwanted stint of bordom?

15. If you answered no to 14 you’re clearly lying… cuz you wouldn’t have filled the damn thing out… that wasn’t a question but it deserves a number.
Thanks for playing the Zok is awesome game… tune in next time… for… something else?

Recap:
Zok wrote a questionnaire.

Tell your friends that they don’t have to be friends with Zok to fill out the form… they just need a computer… and some fingers.

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