I’m going to be the first man to travel through time without the use of a flux-capacitor! I know this may seem a little crazy, but I’ve concocted a plan that will allow me to communicate with myself in the future. Whoever is reading this right now, prepare to be 10x as smart as you were a minute ago.

Here’s the deal; I’m going to write a letter and mail it to my future self. One day, some time in the future, future-me will be going about his business when he will receive a strange letter from a man with the same name as him… who resides at the same address.

Future-me will open the letter, and upon reading it, will have some vague recollection of having written said letter… as though he had actually written it… when, to you and I, it’s quite obvious that I am, in fact, the man who wrote the letter. The very strands of time will be altered. Think, a man from current day, changes the events in the future through the simple act of mailing himself a letter.

Most people probably would’ve guessed that Einstein or Michael J. Fox would be among the first men to manipulate time… instead I, a humble young bloke from the Creek will be remembered, in the annals of history, as the man who did the unthinkable, and transcended time itself.

My discovery is sure to change the world, and not long from now I’ll probably be a multi-billionaire science-man who doesn’t have time to associate with regular folk like you, but for right now, I’m still poor and irrelevant, so I can share my innovation with you.

It’s likely that soon, you’ll all come knocking on my mansion door… actually probably the front gate, which will be locked to keep freeloaders like yourselves out, but yeah, you’ll be knocking on the front gate, and I’ll get pissed off, cuz you’re interrupting my quiet library hour, and I’ll come outside to yell at you for being freeloaders who didn’t think to use mail to travel through time, and one of the mob members outside my house will throw a head of lettuce at me and I’ll be like “Why the hell did you just throw a head of lettuce at me?” and the guy will be like “Because it was on sale and I really didn’t need to buy it, but did anyway because it was on sale” to which I’ll reply “Oh, that’s cool then” and the dude will nod… then everyone will look around in an attempt to understand what that had to do with freeloading in front of my house, but no one will put the pieces together. So we’ll all just stand there, me in my robe, and you in your discount clothes from Old Navy or wherever it is the kids are buying their clothes from these days, until the guards come out in golf carts and take care of business so that I can go back to sitting around by my giant fireplace, drinking Champaign and having tickle fights with some Swedish lingerie models.

Man… life is going to be so much cooler than it is now. I hope I get that letter to myself today.

Recap:
I’ve discovered a way to travel through time;
Einstein and Michael J. Fox have nothing on me;
You’re a-ok right now, but when I’m rich and powerful I’ll make new friends;
Tickle fights are too sparse;
Getting letters from your past self means you altered the space-time-continuum;
You are probably 10x smarter than you were before reading this.

Tell your friends, that you’ve already told them what you’re about to tell them.

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